slide burn

last night was another night that reminds me i am too old to drink. it was fun, i met a grip of good people, including one gay man that doesn't admit he's gay that and that tried to kiss my hot girlfriend but was really secretly in love with his own man friend. he was SO gay but either doesn't know or doesn't admit it, i'm going for "doesn't admit". he was funny but not that funny and wasn't that nice to me until we got back to someone's loft and he looked at me and said "you are SO hot, i didn't notice before." thanks, it meant so much to me that you said that.
and one of the clubs we went to was having it's opening night party. the club is called Slide and has an actual hard wood slide that you go down to get to the club. ATTENTION EVERYONE: do NOT go down the slide. they have a guy at the bottom that is there to catch you if you come shooting out of the slide too fast, and he was really bad at his job. he did NOT catch me and i came flying out of the stupid slide at a hundred miles an hour in my tight skirt and silk top and heels with i'm sure my g string showing for everyone to see as i come sprawling out onto the floor with my legs going in five different directions. at least i had a g string on and didn't flash scary shaved camel lips at everyone like lindsay lohan oh wait i don't have scary camel lips so nevemind it wouldn't have been that bad. the whole point is that i have crazy slide burn on my arms from trying to stop myself on the stupid slide and the slide is stupid.