actual conversations

me: did you happen to notice what drinks were on the board for happy hour?
really nice but amazingly niave friend: yeah, they have a few kinds of cosmos.
me: oh yeah, i noticed that. do you remember what kinds? what are you getting?
really nice but amazingly niave friend: they had regular cosmos and a cosmo with something that i can't even pronounce that starts with a P. i've never heard of it, so i'm just getting a regular cosmo.
me (remembering what was on the board.): you mean pomegranate?
RNBANF: pomegranate? is that how you say it? what is a pomegranate? Have you ever heard of that? (asks friend)
RNBANF's Friend: it's a fruit, right? pomegranate fruit?
Me: seriously? you have never heard of pomegranate? you know, the really high in anti oxidant fruit that was also popular in greek mythology? (now they just think i'm insane)
RNBANF: I guess i'm kind of sheltered, i've never heard of one. i'm just having a regular cosmo.

Then last week I was having dinner with same friend and her husband.
RNBANF: woah, they have greek salad here, i'm so excited. I just learned about greek salad last week.
me: what the fuck.
RNBANF: have you heard of it? it's so good, it's my new favorite thing.
me: how did you make it 25 years without knowing about greek salad?
RNBANF: I don't know, i guess i'm kind of sheltered.
RNBANF's husband comes over from playing pool: hey, are you having the greek salad? they have that here, exiting, huh? We just learned about them last week.

then I was at starbucks the other day:
me: can i have a triple grande latte with organic milk please?
barista: sure, that's $5.76 please.
me: thanks.
i go over to the side where they make the drinks and watch as the barista takes out soy milk and starts foaming it.
me: actually, i wanted organic milk.
barista: yeah, i'm using it.
me: that is soy milk you are using.
barista: (looks at me with deer in headlights face) wait, what's the difference?
me: seriously?
barista: i guess we don't have organic milk. hey David, where is the organic milk?
david: it's right there in the fridge next to the whole milk. david comes over and points to the box of soy milk.
david: it's right here.
me: that's soy milk
david: isn't soy organic milk?
me: no, they are not the same thing at all. Soy isn't really good for you, i would rather have organic milk.
barista: yeah, we don't have organic milk right now i guess. but don't worry, we have soy.