i can't hang

last night we went out with some friends. we ordered a cab from our usual place and they sent a giant escalade with hater vision and a dope sound system, and told us that they would only charge us for the regular towncar. they lied. $65 later we had made the seven minute drive SOOOO not worth it but there was nothing i could do and that set the tone for me to be unreasonably pissed at everyone for the rest of the night.
here are the things i unreasonably freaked out about and at:

1. my boyfriend

a. he went to the bathroom where guys were doing coke and didn't get us a 20 sack. (note: i HATE coke, and have no idea why i would be pissed that he didn't hook us up. it's like if he was in the bathroom and saw someone torturing kittens and i said "why didn't you get US a kitten to torture you bastard?")

b. he wanted to dance with me and i said "i dance alone" which is my favorite thing to say to people who want to dance with me because it's true. i dance alone. but i didn't have to be such a bitch about it.

2. annoying emaciated white girls dry humping the air and each other on a podium thing on the dance floor. it's one thing to dance with your girl on a podium, but another thing to look like you are actually humping something invisible. the really emaciated one kept doing this hip thing that was like a dog actually humping, not sexy ass shaking at all. i was feeling inner rage about it.

3. people kept bumping into me. it was a crowded club, and everytime someone would bump into me, which was like every three seconds, i would turn around and glare at them and hope that they would try to fight me. no one did.

in the end, we got into a cab and i blacked out. the only thing i remember after getting into the cab is eating the crumbs out of the bottom of a bag of plantain chips in my kitchen. then total blackness. and i think i took a sleeping pill so i'm lucky i came out of the blackness at all.

basically the moral of the story is that i hate alcohol and i never have fun when i drink, i just get angry. going out used to be a thursday evening to monday morning fiasco. i used to go for actual days doing drugs and dancing and inevitably ending up either at a house party playing dominos or, sad to say, at the EndUp.

now i go out and have three drinks and hate everyone around me, blackout, wake up the next morning feeling guitly and hungover, and then try and kill the hangover by eating all the food in the city which makes me feel fat and then i'm pissed off all weekend. what happened to me?