love america, hate george w. bush

i don't know why, but this is the hardest 9/11 anniversary yet.

this one, today, is really affecting me and i feel like i'm right back in DC. Panicking, waiting for the next attack, driving to GMU to watch tv there because i didn't have a tv in my house, in general just thinking this was the begining of the end. I made it to the tv at GMU in time to see the second plane hit (lee, were we in there together? i can't even remember anything but the TV.) and then stayed there through the collapse of the towers. it was unbelievable. And then the constant fear of a nuclear bomb in DC, sleepless nights waiting to hear an explosion, anthrax (i just happened to send a letter that exact day when they found the anthrax in my post office, i have perfect timing) and my morning reading the Washington Post, over an espresso with half a bottle of Bailey's in it, to keep updated without having a television.

this is the first day i've let myself watch any footage of that day.

I watched Koppel's Discovery broadcast last night and kept hearing the term "if we have another attack". After 9/11 i don't think "if" is the right term, i think it's WHEN.

i hate this "war on terror", the unwinnable war against a faceless and undefined enemy, the war in Iraq that is totally unrelated, and of course, our president. but i love our amazing country, everything that is the idea of america, and all our troops serving overseas. i think the best way to support them is to bring them home.