it's been a minute
this has been a crazy month. moved, broke up, went broke, felt free, felt stifled, you know, all the good contradictory shit.
Chapter One: Fuck You Nebraska
Nebraska is the absolute worst state in out great union. yes, even worse than Wyoming.
Breakfast in Nebraska goes like this:
Look at menu. Find that all items either contain ham, wheat or both. Try to make an omelet from the "make your own" section but find that the only "make your own" ingredients are different kinds of ham. Realize that you are the only one in the restaurant weighing less than 300 pounds. See obese parents feeding their obese kid chocolate chip waffles with ice cream for breakfast. Watch in horror as the waitress brings out a giant cookie tied to a helium balloon for dessert. Watch as fat kid chases dangling helium balloon cookie out of restaurant and think that there really isn't a joke worth making.
Chapter Two: Fuck you, Freelance Design
This chapter is basic and consists of one main lesson. When doing freelance design, it doesn't matter if you do better work than Tom Ford, have a contract, and enlist the mafia: you are not guaranteed a check.
Chapter Three: Doberman Pinscher Ass
This chapter is also very basic. It has one main lesson as well: The smell that comes out of a doberman's ass is unparalleled by any other smell, except, possibly, the smell of Colorado.
Chapter Four: Depressing Things
There are roaches in my new apartment.
I haven't been in the gym for over a month and have no booty.
This picture was in a nice frame in the ladies room of a gas station in Iowa:
for some reason, that shit depresses me more than i can even explain. i guess because someone out there actually thought they were doing a cool thing by taking the time to frame this leo dicaprio poster, you know, a little som'thin for the ladies.
Chapter Five: The Best Days of Your Life...
...are the days of ignorant bliss that come right before you realize you have roaches. The sad thing is, you always take these days for granted because you don't realize they are coming to an end early one morning when you lift up a teacup and see a god damn roach.
***The funny thing about this post is that it contains none of the real shit that has been happening lately. there is real shit, shit that i would write about if this was an anonymous blog, that is consuming my thoughts and is the reason i haven't been writing. i mean real shit besides the moving, flying, traveling, packing, unpacking, phone avoiding and non-stop text messaging that has also been taking up my time. whatever. anyway, i'm back.
Chapter One: Fuck You Nebraska
Nebraska is the absolute worst state in out great union. yes, even worse than Wyoming.
Breakfast in Nebraska goes like this:
Look at menu. Find that all items either contain ham, wheat or both. Try to make an omelet from the "make your own" section but find that the only "make your own" ingredients are different kinds of ham. Realize that you are the only one in the restaurant weighing less than 300 pounds. See obese parents feeding their obese kid chocolate chip waffles with ice cream for breakfast. Watch in horror as the waitress brings out a giant cookie tied to a helium balloon for dessert. Watch as fat kid chases dangling helium balloon cookie out of restaurant and think that there really isn't a joke worth making.
Chapter Two: Fuck you, Freelance Design
This chapter is basic and consists of one main lesson. When doing freelance design, it doesn't matter if you do better work than Tom Ford, have a contract, and enlist the mafia: you are not guaranteed a check.
Chapter Three: Doberman Pinscher Ass
This chapter is also very basic. It has one main lesson as well: The smell that comes out of a doberman's ass is unparalleled by any other smell, except, possibly, the smell of Colorado.
Chapter Four: Depressing Things
There are roaches in my new apartment.
I haven't been in the gym for over a month and have no booty.
This picture was in a nice frame in the ladies room of a gas station in Iowa:
for some reason, that shit depresses me more than i can even explain. i guess because someone out there actually thought they were doing a cool thing by taking the time to frame this leo dicaprio poster, you know, a little som'thin for the ladies.
Chapter Five: The Best Days of Your Life...
...are the days of ignorant bliss that come right before you realize you have roaches. The sad thing is, you always take these days for granted because you don't realize they are coming to an end early one morning when you lift up a teacup and see a god damn roach.
***The funny thing about this post is that it contains none of the real shit that has been happening lately. there is real shit, shit that i would write about if this was an anonymous blog, that is consuming my thoughts and is the reason i haven't been writing. i mean real shit besides the moving, flying, traveling, packing, unpacking, phone avoiding and non-stop text messaging that has also been taking up my time. whatever. anyway, i'm back.
posted by dee goldie at 2:16 PM
2 Comments:
I was sort of thinking the same thing as js... Glad to see you back, but please, next time you should speak your mind!
You're back!
man, times of transitions are always rough, i feel for you.
just remember that it will feel damn good landing on yoru feet again.
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