you've got a great set of NEW YORK BOOBS!

this post will consist mainly of grainy shitty cell phone pictures because i'm a busy woman and i don't always have time to get batteries for my camera. that's my assistant's job. but she doesn't exist. so i never have batteries. whatever.

here's me and my homie outside the worst fashion show ever. no disrespect to the people who busted their ass to put it on or to the girls who shook their ass in the show, but it fucking sucked.
(not pictured: the annoying ass line we had to stand in even though we were on the list. you know, the list.)

the only girl who can talk more shit than me. and look better doing it:

this next picture is ironic because it was taken about ten seconds before i blacked out for real. (get it? because it's almost black? god, no one gets irony anymore.)


i could write a whole post about the below pic. i'll simply list a few main points that would be involved if i had time to write a whole post:

1. avenue a.
2. socks. with platform flip-flops.
3. nitrous. oxide. balloons.

i need these things to fly:
(not picutred: bottle of xanax. also not pictured: the hot asian girl behind the bar that stole the chips for me. all my love, sweetcheeks.)


nicole and victoria beckham. for real for real.


and last but not least!!!! HBHNT!!! (the B stands for belated.)