Monday, January 29, 2007

this shit is kind of cool...

Someone send this to me and i have to say i think it's kind of dope. I have always said that i read by looking at a word in its entirety and not by sounding it out beginning to end...no one ever believed me but i think that this little beauty is my proof that it's possible. I guess not everyone can read it, let me know:

Cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid: aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! hlloa if you can raed tihs!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

dear senna,

dear senna,
i have so much fucking work to do i cna't even think.  and
all i want to do is work out and have a jacuzzi and
then do some yoga and then maybe design ahandbag. instead,
i have to do 4729039857 other things and then maybe
workout for 20 minutes and then go to the grocery store.

and i just came from the grocery store but i forgot half the
things i went there to get. and i got every single
gluten free treat they had and ate three of each of them.
lemon cream wafers, chocolate rush bliss confection
bars, zebra dreams, etc. none of them are really that good.
that is all.

call me i'm giong insane. that's right. giong.
To: st****r@spahs.umt.edu
Subject: update on my wheat free treats

i have the most gigantic fucking toothache headache.
i'm pretty sure i need at least 2,000 root canals.
i just finished my dental insurance application and
i'm going to use the fuck out of it when it goes into
effect. lucky for me they accept everyone because
if they knew i hadn't been to the dentist since i
was 15 (true) they'd probably laugh in my face.
everytime i have any sugar at all i get this
horrible aching in my sinus/cheekbone on the left side,
and then it goes into my ear and into the top of my jaw.
that can't be good.
in other news i scheduled a consultation with
Dr. Steven Gitt...guess what he does...don't tell ANYONE.

Friday, January 19, 2007

jessica beil biel whatever

is almost the hottest white girl alive. even puffy thinks so, and you know he has high standards for women. (all gay men do.) okay, just kidding, i don't beleive the puffy is gay rumor. and no, i won't call him diddy.

today's post will be all about hot celebrities because i feel like being nice. it's not as fun as talking shit about them, but it's better for my soul.

kate moss has a fucking ridiculous body for a trashy east-ender. See how i did that? i managed to sneak some shit talking into my complement. i'm like a ninja with my sneaky wordplay.here's a pic of rhianna (sp?) defying gravity. this is the hottest picture of her ever. i had no idea her body was this slammin because i always got stuck trying to figure out what was wrong wiht her face. She's like if god put a ghetto booty on a gazelle.
and finally, victoria beckhams gorgeous dress and sexy robot body. i considered cropping her head out of the pic because her face ruins everything, but i didn't because that would be mean.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

the shiznittle bam...


shnip shnop shnappy!

my dog is the shit, bitches!

my chihuahua sleeps sitting up, reason number 1293405673.5 that he is the most ridiculous dog ever.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

come ON.

first of all, i have to say that everyone sucks for not having more to say about the manties. THE MANTIES deserve MORE ATTENTION. They are insane and i could post comments about them all day long. i have a hard time believing that valency, lee and i are the ONLY ones who have comments, given the fact that there are some big mouthed motherfuckers that I know come to this site on the daily that always have something to say about EVERYTHING.
more manites comments. don't make me type in capitals for emphasis again today.

in other news i was at the store listening to danger doom on my ipod and noticed that these kind of hot guys kept looking at me and smiling, sort of laughing, and generally being rather aggressive with the scoping. they were definitely saying something about me so i slyly turned off the ipod (but left the earphones in so they wouldn't know) to hear what they were saying.
basically they were saying that i was a tool because unbeknownst to me i was singing along to the music really fucking loud and making a huge ass out of myself.
why do i even leave the house?

that is all.

Thursday, January 11, 2007

MANTIES!

oh god oh god oh god, funniest shit ever. i was looking for a pic of underwear for the post below, which is a boring post that you should not even bother reading, and i cam across this: www.underpantiesformen.com

here are some of my personal favorites:
the granny manty (it comes in a whole bunch of amazing colors, with or without bows and ruffles:

i think this is the dirtiest of the all, the "sissy girl":

This is what the site says about this little philly: "feel completely feminine...in the Sunrise Sensation." fuck yeah!

This one is just freaky, put the lotion in the baaaaasket style:
and last but not least, for the little girl inside every man:
oh god, i'm going back in for more.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

go capitalism.



so there's a big issue in the PXH right now about a pizza company that takes pesos, dollars, and credit cards as payment. apparently this is a huge deal because god forbid those crazy mexicans use up the extra pesos they smuggled in when they crossed the border illegally.

People are all out of joint about it which i think is retarded because this is america and if you want to accept dirty fuckin underwear as currency you have the constitutional right to do so.
so i say more power to you, pizza joint. hide as much from the irs as you can, you sly dog.

Monday, January 08, 2007

it's unamerican...

to not love these things.


I may be a semi-vegetarian (and especially no pork), gluten allergic, sugar avoiding, all organic eating food psycho, but i will be damned if i won't fukk up some outback cheese fries and a wallaby darned.

holla if you hear me.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Who's with me on this?

The fact that Busta Rhymes beat someone like they owed him money because...well, they owed him money, makes his fine ass even more damn fine.


First it was shaving off the dreads, which made him look ten years younger. Then it was his sexy new man-body that came out of nowhere and made me forget how he looked in that "put your hands where my eyes could see" video. And now this. Is it wrong to think that it's sexy when a man stands up to for himself and maybe occasionally has a violent temper with other men? Because if it is, i don't want to be right.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Resolutions

1. learn spanich. Yeah, that's right, spanish with a "c". it's the good shit.

2. do more art. i won't be afraid.

3. get health insurance. it's fucked up that i have to make that a resolution and i can't rely on my tax dollars to provide health care for me. can't we just make about 100 less gazillion-dollar missiles or Apaches or whatever and help out those who can't afford insurance? Come on, america.
4. volunteer more. which means at all.

5. conquer the man arms. one Man Arm can be clearly seen in the above picture where i look fairly hot until you see the giant man arm taking over the left side of the photograph. Man Arm, you are going down, son!

6. visit everyone i love and miss in DC. (or "too close" to DC, in lee's case!)


7. Save more money. (you have to make a resolution that you know you won't keep, right? well, this one is mine.)

8. TRAVEL! if i keep resolution #7, i will be able to make #8 happen, so i guess i'm not breaking that one after all.

There are more to come, i'm just not sure what they are yet. also, not included in this list are the Obligatory Resolutions 1. Work out every day and 2. Drink less. (unless it's champagne. I would never resolve to drink less champagne.)