so chihuahuas apparently have this thing where they get erections that don't go away for, like, a month, and you have to take them to the creepy small animal hospital when you get back from canada and find out that the tip of their month-long-erection penis has become frost bitten from being in the cold.

when you take the chihuahua to the creepy animal hospital, the hilarious nurse with the voice exactly like Rosie Perez says "Aw, his name is Biggie Smalls? Well we know what's big right now, don't we!"

then you have to have the chihuahua sedated because, well, it SUCKS to have someone stuff your penis back into your body, i guess.

then you get a syringe of KY Jelly and are taught how to stuff the penis back in if necessary. hell no. i'm calling rosie perez the minute that shit comes out again. biggie and i have to look each other in the eye for at least another ten years and there's no way the penis syringe shit is going down.

also apparently when you sedate a chihuahua its tongue sticks out of its head like the 2007 world's ugliest dog and it's the funniest thing of all time.