thank you

every once in a while something so wack comes along that it completely distracts me from my 16 jobs and klonipin railing, at least long enough to post a picture of it and talk mad shit for a few sentences.
this is it:

if you scroll the screen up so that only her legs and massive fup show, you would swear it was my grandfather. If you scroll down and look just at her face and slender arm, it's like she's a elegant swan exiting a building gracefully.

but then if you look at the picture as a whole you realize she really just looks like if a farmer and a deer had a retarded baby with its legs on backwards.

i'm going to hell for that one. and i blame mischa for every minute i suffer in flame.

xoxo

dee

make it happen

electric ant army face

my friend lee just posted a rant about allergies and how they make you want to rip out your own mouth. i have never had allergies before this month and i guess recently i have been exposed to some freaky desert pollen that i was unaware existed because i currently want to not only rip out my own mouth but also tear out my eyes and have some kind of breathing tube put in.

seriously, my nose feels like someone ran an electric wire through it it is making me insane.

it's like the time i railed oxycontin and spent all night between scratching my tingling nose and leaning my head against the toilet on the bathroom floor. if you aren't familiar with the side effects of synthetic herion they are 1. tingling itching skin, including that around the nose and lips and 2. neausea, vomiting, and thinking you might die because you feel so awful. I experienced both symptoms 1 and 2 and this new allergy itching is worse than both. (i guess heroin starts being fun the second time you do it. you have to fight through the first time. sorry oxy, i'm only interested in drugs that you don't have to work at. that night i made a deal with god who i don't even beleive in that if i didn't OD i'd never try the shit again.)

i escaped to sf for the past week and it helped with the allergy shit for sure. I felt better the minute i got off the plane and breathed in the dirty city fog. i'll take moldy sea air and crackhead molecules over this crazy desert pollen any day.

that is all.

yours in agony,

dee

don't call it frisco

last night i had five sofias and a xanax for dinner. i drank the first one with the straw because i think the straw is cute, but after the first one i said fuck it and took them down from the can.
i just didn't want to FEEL anything last night. sweet oblivion is what they call it i think.

easter boobs

i live a double life

I used to date this guy, and one night he tried to kill me. seriously. But now we're cool. This is one example of how my insane life works. (all my love, St. Nick. Yours Truly, Easter.)

i lived by myself in a tiny-ass ground floor apartment on a couch with a pull-out bed and I couldn't afford to eat and partied WAAAAY too much, but for some reason, I felt like i had a PURPOSE.

Now i have a job and a condo with 2 floors and a dog (sort of) and responsibilities and a great man who would never ever try to kill me and yet...dissatisfaction.

I think i need a change.

Lindsay Biggums

i don't know if this is true or not, because i read it on the superficial.com which isn't exactly Frontline investagative journalism, but lindsay lohan was interviewed by GQ over her blackberry and wrote back responses like tyrone biggums...

When asked about playing poker
"I just emailed my friend sara pantera saying I'm going to start playing poker again! I bought two puppies today!"

On the topic of cats
"Cats scare me. I just think of bad luck from black ones like I had in Just My Luck! I need a boyfriend. Geez."

When asked what the happiest moment of her life was
"Gotta think sex scene today" and never wrote back again.

someone take away the puppies. replace them with stuffed animals or something, but take them away. we all saw trainspotting, we know what happens when drug addicts have to be responsible for babies (i think this applies to puppies as well.)
unless there are no puppies which makes it even funnier.
and what is UP with the shirt? she's really embracing the crackhead look, seriously. it reminds me of the time my friend ket and i did a bunch of coke and I ended up at someone's house playing dominoes at 9AM the next day wearing an argyle sweater, platform boots, an armani zip up shirt and knickers...I put on the same outfit the next day just to see what i was actually wearing....oh my god, the hilarity. thanks ket, you let me out of the house like that motherfucker.