everyone needs to relax about the titties
i have been met with quite a bit of resistance about the new boobs. I think there is a general misconception about fake boobs and i would like to take a minute to point out the reality of the situation.
Misconceptions:1. fake boobs have to be ENORMOUS.
as beautiful in the inside as the scoreland babes may be, they are not what i'm aspiring to look like. No offense, Dusty and Minka, but your boobs are too big for my taste.
please see exhibit a, below:
and exhibit b:
Both of these women have their augmentations done with my Dr. and are about my size. (5'6" 115 lbs.) Ex A has 300 cc's filled to 325 and Ex B has 325 filled to 375. I will be somewhere in between. So chill out.2. Getting fake boobs means i'm insecure and don't think of myself as attractive. I think i'm hot, i have high self esteem, i love myself, and i am not getting boobs for anyone but me OR to make myself feel better about myself. I just want to have bigger boobs, for the love of god. i have wanted to have them since i was ten years old and now that i have the means to make it happen i will be goddamned if i am going to pass them up.
3. fake boobs have to look fake.
Please be assured that my tits will not look like victoria beckham's. Having giant spherical tits that defy gravity on top of your breastplate are a choice, not an effect of breast augmentation. one doesn't have to order the perfectly round silicon, there is always the low profile under the muscle choice, and i'm making it.4. i will suddenly be an uber-sexual whore bag who dresses like a stripper.
i will never ever ever be caught dead in a mesh shirt with star shaped pasties on my nipples. ever. just because i want to love my boobs does not mean i want to start showing them off to every motherfucker around. they are mine and mine alone and i will love them every day while at the same time hiding them under my usual bra, tank top, tracksuit jacket and occasional puffy vest. so you'll be lucky if you ever even get to see them is the point.
Is summary, let me just say that i am really looking forward to fulfilling my childhood dream of having enough breast to fill a pretty bra. am i hot now? yes. will i be a different person when i have fake boobs? no. but if i can have boobs like the ones below, why not?
having said that, i AM open to discussion, so if you think you have a case, make it now. Gary, i'm sure you have something to say...
posted by dee goldie at 1:24 PM
9 Comments:
I would get a second mortgage should one of mine pop. I love my fake boobies. They changed my life...and not in the goofy way people think. I don't care what dudes think. For the first time in my life, I could wear a swimsuit without padding. Ever come out of the water with those big sponges draining? I could wear tank tops for the first time without feeling totally self conscious.
You're a smart girl and it looks like you're doing your research. People pressuring about your own body is still pressure. Doesn't matter if it's boobs or an abortion. They don't like 'em. Tell 'em not to get them.
I suspect you're not as neurotic as you might like me to think you are. Nonetheless, I'm not going to take the bait. What are we, girlfriends, here? So, no, I'm not going to give you my opinion on whether you should get a boob job.
Besides, I can't stop thinking about your sexy arms long enough to develop an argument for why you should or should not get a boob job. OK, I made that bit up. Haven't thought about your arms at all, and your blog still cracks me up.
I seem to recall that one become ineligible to fly to space on Virgin Galactic if one has a boob job. Apparently the air pressure gradient during the flight is greater than commercial airline travel, and great enough that there is some concern that the implants might expand and burst when cabin pressure falls during the ascent.
If I had a vested interest in and intimate familiarity with your breasts, which I do not, then I'd mention two things (you seem to have an affinity for lists):
1. Breasts are nifty. Pretty much all of them. Large, small, perky, bouncy, whatever. Breasts rock. Your breasts probably rock as they are. Post a few pictures so we have an idea if you like, taking care to blur out your face in photoshop. but the odds are quite good that your breasts rock and that implants will not improve them substantially and might even reduce the extent to which your breasts can be employed to your, ahem, satisfaction. So to speak.
2. Before you decide, please consider the risks especially regarding loss of sensitivity and pain resulting from breast implant.
Seriously, if you were letting me play with them on a regular basis, I would encourage you to refrain from doing anything that might damage them. I might be somewhat worried about it, in fact.
But then, I really don't have a vested interest in your boobs, and, as I mentioned, I'm not taking the bait, so I'm not going to tell you any of that, then, am I? I may be less neurotic than I'd like you to think I am.
Of course, nobody should get optional cosmetic surgery of any type before they check out the archive of Hollywood vanity gone amok, Awful Plastic Surgery dot com.
I read something recently that has me wondering if an alternative to surgical implants might be possible for breast augmentation. If lavender and tea trea oil causes breast tissue to grow on boys, perhaps some type of breast-specific growth agent might be developed for women.
Reading your other comments I would say Gary is dead on with some of his concerns. I have had several friends get boob jobs over the years and all have complaints. Some are in the realm of extreme horror story doctor fuck ups, most experience a fair bit of pain, but ALL (every last damn one of them) report having lost more than a little bit of sensitivty. Even the girls who only boosted themselves by a cup size. Those with the least amount of inflation reported losing about 50% sensitivity, the one with the greatest amount of addition reported losing almost all her sensitivity. Now, my friends tend to be really outgoing and had no problem asking several people (myself included) to feel their new breasts and tell them what we think. Again, the overwhelming response for all of them were that they don't feel right. Either too hard, or just..just not right somehow. The way they move in one's hands changes. In short, they ceased being any fun for either the girl having her breasts handled (kissed, etc.) or for the person handeling them. Maybe techniques in the last couple of years have changed, and doctors have found a way to improve sensitivy issues but I would ask, and double whatever percent of sensitivity loss he tells you to expect.
Good luck with your decision, and whatever happens I hope you enjoy them!
while i appreciate everyone's concern, i just have to take a second here and point out: OF COURSE i know there can be loss of sensitivity, OF COURSE i did research about different incision sites that can reduce the loss of senstivity, OF COURSE i know there can be complications and have researched pages and pages of information, including testimonials and photos (good and bad), as well as spent hours talking to surgeons and women who've had it done.
Gary:
1. yes, i do like lists.
2. i'm fine with my breasts now, i just want them to be bigger.
3. beleive me, i have been on fda.com about 1243453498 times making sure i've read every last word available to me.
and finally, OF COURSE i've felt fake breasts before, i'm half dike for god's sake.
ohmygawd what was Minka thinking?
minka (and all the other girls) were thinking one thing: make money money money make money money monaaaaayyyy!
don't worry, lee. if i ever go for the mesh shirt and pasties, you'll be the first person i call to the photo shoot.
I think what's really interesting is that your boob job hasn't received any more attention than your discussion of manties. I would have thought boobs would get rather more attention. Maybe content filters are limiting traffic to your blog.
i think the reason for this is that there are millions of boobs out there; this makes boobs old news.
There are, however, only a select group of manty wearers. This makes the manties more novel and thus more comment-on-able.
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