"learn how to heal yourself and stop fuckin with the hospitals"
I just read this article on truthnews.com and was horrified to find out that American hospitals in all 50 states take DNA samples of every new born and test "for 56 various genetic disorders and variants" and then keep the test results and genetic information in the state's records. You can opt out of this program by signing paperwork when you are admitted to the hospital while in labor, provided that you KNOW about the program in the first place. and even if you do opt out you have no guarantee that your child will not still be entered without your knowledge.
Up until now i was opting for the pussiest way of delivery (no pun intended) - a scheduled c-section. i'm afraid of labor. I'm afraid of stretching. and tearing. but i'm more afraid of my child's genetic information being kept in a government file somewhere just waiting to be reviewed and flagged by the Third Reich if god forbid there is something genetically wrong with my baby. yeah, so i'm a little paranoid. but not without good fucking reason.
anyway, i came across this insane shit while trying to psych myself up for the fact that i'm going to have to do the damn thing in my own home, unassisted by doctors, forceps, needles, drugs, rules, and of course, DNA snatchers.
i had no idea this shit was even possible:
yes, i know, this is my most paranoid and conspiracy theoretical (?) post ever. i'll post about celebrities and streetwear tomorrow.
Up until now i was opting for the pussiest way of delivery (no pun intended) - a scheduled c-section. i'm afraid of labor. I'm afraid of stretching. and tearing. but i'm more afraid of my child's genetic information being kept in a government file somewhere just waiting to be reviewed and flagged by the Third Reich if god forbid there is something genetically wrong with my baby. yeah, so i'm a little paranoid. but not without good fucking reason.
anyway, i came across this insane shit while trying to psych myself up for the fact that i'm going to have to do the damn thing in my own home, unassisted by doctors, forceps, needles, drugs, rules, and of course, DNA snatchers.
i had no idea this shit was even possible:
yes, i know, this is my most paranoid and conspiracy theoretical (?) post ever. i'll post about celebrities and streetwear tomorrow.
posted by dee goldie at 9:27 AM
10 Comments:
Whoa! Wait a minute! Did I miss a big announcement?? Or is this filed away for future information? Curious minds need to know!
i am so not watching those videos. the stills are plenty. do not do a c-section. your stomach muscles will never recover.
just have that spinal thingy.
seriously.
you'll be pissed when no matter how many sit-ups you do, your scarred tummy just won't flatten.
os, don't worry, there is no way you will miss the announcement when i'm pregnant. it will go something like FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
but with way more Us. this post was strictly for informational purposes.
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franki, i'm not having the spinal thingy. the spinal thingy is someone putting a NEEDLE in your SPINE and numbing you from the waist down before they steal your child's DNA for experimentation.
i'm doing it the uber natural way where i deliver in a bathtub of water or kneel on a futon or go behind my tipi or some shit.
and yes, brian will be in the bathtub with me.
Shit I thought I mssed out too, I thought you were bred.
We had 2 c-secs
ever seen a deer gutted, I'm just sayin.
Good luck, if and when!
I mean where as my sister. I got locked into the room when my sister gave birth. It was like an episode of "Scared Straight."
i know, the chick in the first video is like, eh, whatever. i'll just kneel here silently and deliver this baby by myself.
i was there for the birth of my best friend's son. it was not silent. there was no laughing and kneeling. there was screaming and tearing. i was all mad at the baby like "STOP HURTING MY FRIEND!!!"
ok now i can't stop thinking about you and brian sitting in a tub full of floating turds and other inappropriate innards to be floating with.
you think they can't steal your baby's DNA if you aren't numbed from the waist down? and you think they can't steal your baby's DNA with a c-section where they got that little curtain up to keep you from seeing all of your organs piled up on your chest? ook!
i had one natural and one spinaled...both times i couldn't give a fuck what happened to those babies once they were out. my freaked out legs were flapping all over the table of their own volition and i was praying for demmoral (sp?)
*shudder*
yup, i'm having my uterus removed.
franki, the whole point is that i'm not going to go anywhere near a hospital for the births of my children. i'm going to do it by myself at home with a midwife.
i wanted a c-section because i'm a huge pussy and didn't want to deal with the pain of labor. but now i'm doing that shit at home by myself so that i can keep my baby's DNA where it belongs - in my baby!
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