mary j blige my son don't accept them type of phone calls

first of all, i need these. need. kind of like when a person needs air or water, except more urgent and serious.

chanel you have once again seduced me with your delicious sunglasses just wait until i get near a chanel i am going to fuck up the sunglass section and love these and only these as long as we both shall live unless i'm wearing my gucci sunglasses.

like i said, my dad could definitely kick your dad's ass.


in other news i have west nile virus. it's kind of like SARS except less fatal and more annoying and not respatory. okay it's nothing like sars but remember when sars and west nile were a big deal and we were all worried about getting them?

my friend johnny got west nile when it was still scary and had to be quarantined in a plastic room. johnny is this hot gay guy who looks like a fratboy and did gay porn for a while until he got too popular and had to quit because he was worried his mom was going to find out.

a funny story about johnny was one time i was in my apt and heard someone calling my name from the street (in san francisco) and i looked out and saw johnny with his car parked on the sidewalk screaming my name. he had been up for three days in napa doing crystal meth with male models and having all boy male model orgies i'm not kidding and needed a place to come down so i gave him my grandfathers pajamas that i happened to have and let him sleep it off. it was when i had bunk beds and i took the top bunk and he took the bottom and passed out in pop's v-neck like an angel.