I hate these things v.1

• things on surfaces, darling, things on surfaces (if you get that reference you are my favorite. or you are ket. who is my favorite.)
  
• dust bunnies
• unclean kitchens
• appliances on counter tops (see "things on surfaces")
  
• french pedicures. seriously. who wants their toenails to look so long that they have 1/4" of toenail growth?
• the microwave. here's why.
• neo-hippies. ugh.
• jam bands
• whitney houston's new look.
• children. i try to like them. but i don't.
  
• project runway assholes
• the people at this number: 1.866.484.8292. They incessantly call my house at all hours of the day and all days of the week, even though I am on the "do not call" list, which is probably bullshit, but whatever. Please call the above number whenever you feel like it. If no one answers, leave them a five minute message of silence.
• the sound of a kettle whistling. some people find the sound comforting. those people are totally insane.