wait, they're clowning WHICH one?

i keep seeing this photo set everywhere (dlisted.com, that annoying omg! yahoo thing, etc.) and i can't help wondering why kathy griffin is getting shit on when paris is actually serious with her "outfit". did she just step off the set of A Mid-Summer Night's Dream? or is she BFF with that Peter Pan dude in Tampa...wait maybe she IS that dude...i might be onto something here.


anyway, have you noticed how matchy-matchy paris has been lately? i'm all for the Two Colors One Outfit rule, but choose the colors wisely.

yes, matching your purse to your shoes is always a safe call. but matching your shoes to the giant oragami shower curtain around your waist...not a good look. and what's with the silver clutch? there are two things you never mix in one outfit: different metals and different denims. unless you are dolly parton or going to burning man, gold and silver or dark and light denim do not belong in the same outfit.

in other news, i got a yellow mani/pedi the other day from hillaria, the world's best nail tech. i was hoping for neon lemon...got canary mustard instead.

things that might grow on me: yellow mani/pedi.

things that won't grow on me: paris hilton's rendition of blade runner.

Facebook Haterade

a few weeks ago some random dude emailed me a one line email: "do you spin records?"

just to be polite, i wrote him back telling him no, i don't. i guess if you wear adidas track jackets and hoop earrings you are obviously a dj.

then he wrote back and asked "i just started spinning a few months ago. do you break or anything?"

oh, my bad, i guess the track jacket means i'm a b-girl. because you can't just love hip hop and wear adidas without being a master of at least ONE of the four elements. (google it, mom). i ignored him because really, i don't have time to answer random-ass questions from freaky strangers on facebook.

so then, at 5:15 am today i get this message:

"Those pictures are fake, aren't they...
I realize you're probably some weird pervert in his 60's cruising facebook for guys. I'm just wondering why you are picking up random guys on the internet if it's really you in those pictures. You probably should add a couple more pictures of that girl with different track jackets on just to make it a little more believable. I thought about possibly adding you as a friend but I don't know if we would really have that much in common. Whoever that girl is i'm sure she's a sweetheart with a unique sense of style. Good luck."

awesome. at least he got two things right. one, i AM a sweetheart with a unique sense of style, thanks for noticing. two, if you think it's okay to write a complete stranger and accuse them of being a fake ass old man because they don't answer your asinine questions on facebook, then you're right, we don't have that much in common.

this is him

POUR OUT A LITTLE BOLI FOR THE HOMEGIRLS

NOOOOO THIS IS NOT OKAY. FUCK YOU KRISTEN JOHNSTON, FUCK YOU KATHRYN HAHN (WHOEVER YOU ARE), FUCK YOUR FAKE ASS FAT ROLL, YOU BITCHES WILL NEVER REPLACE PATSY AND EDDIE.

THIS:

IS NOT THE SAME AS THIS:

CHEAP ASS IMITATION BITCHES WON'T LAST ONE SEASON.

i want i want i want

blog posts about dreams are boring.

I had the weirdest dreams last night that my friend senna and i lived in these floating trailers above this weird field. And I wasn't allowed to eat dinner in the Cool Floating Trailer because I was too poor and geeky, it was a lot like 2nd grade. It was okay though because I was like fuck this floating trailer bullshit, this can't be safe anyway. Shit is going to fall out of the sky one day, mark my words.

this picture has nothing to do with dreams or floating trailers, but there's no such thing as too much Patsy, so i'm posting it.